Our relationships with people must be second so that our Love for people can come first.
When we gave our lives to live them for Jesus something was suppose to change. We are no longer our own to govern, rule, and determine. It is not about just us any longer. We have victory living as His; our life's standard is set in our very being. So in reaching our victorious destination as His, we begin our new life lived for Him by loving people. All People! His People, lost people, smelly people, puffed up proud people, people in charge, people who want to be in charge, happy people , and sad people. I could go on for ages but you get the point.
Our relationship with the Lord can give us the unique ability to see others through His eyes and not rely on our own. We can get past the "What's in this relationship for me?" Our petty human standards. Instead we can ask, " How does God desire me to bless this person through using me?" or "What does God want me to learn from blessing this person?" Using God's eye view the impossible becomes possible. Past hurts and wrongs done unto us in relationships can be forgiven. By His grace filling in our gaps it is possible when we remember that He who forgave us much, has asked us to do the same for others.
Matthew 6:14-15 says pretty clearly how important forgivness is.
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Read Matthew 18:21-35 The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant, For more study on this.
When we put loving people first and relationship with people second it frees us to love them how God would have us love them. It keeps us in the right perspective in reality. We live to please God, not ourselves or others people. Speaking truth in love can happen more proficiently when we are not self indulged in keeping our own reputations in relationships intact. When we know where our allegiance is in the Lord we can freely forgive, speak up, stand up, direct, correct, and love the people he has called us to love.